The Top Five Things I want My Children To Remember When They Are Married

We are nearing in on 18 years of marriage.  I'm not much over 18 years old myself so I'm not really sure how that is possible.  When we first got married I was completely clueless on how to be a wife.  The only things I knew about being a "good wife" I learned from June Cleaver.  It took entirely too long to realize that I wasn't married to Ward so what was good for him wasn't necessarily good for my husband.  We don't have a perfect marriage because we are imperfect people. However on most days we have a good marriage.

​How I desire for each of my children to have a good marriage, too!  Just as each person is different, each marriage is different.  I would love to be able to take the guess work out of it for my children and tell them XYZ will ensure untold happiness with their spouse forever and always.  Unfortunately, I can't do that. There are some nuggets of wisdom I want to share with them, though.

​Dear Children,

Always remember that you and your spouse are on the same team. Even if at the moment you don't want to be, you are. You got married for better or for worse ... if right now is a worse time, then suck it up.  How are you to suck it up?  Here are the FIVE things I always want you to remember when it comes to your spouse.

• You can't control your spouse, but you can (with the grace of God) control yourself. Make yourself be a better you, the you that God wants you to be.
• Just as you aren't perfect, neither is your spouse. Forgive and extend grace. Repeatedly....
• List 5 things about your spouse that please you, 5 things that make you smile- 5 right now things, not 5 things that used to please you. If you can't do it, seek God and ask forgiveness for your own condemning spirit and ask Him to show you 5 beautiful things about your spouse.
• List 5 things that you can do to bless your spouse that you don't already do, then pray for help in remembering to do them and to do them with a gracious heart.
• I know you would never talk to others about your spouse in a disrespectful manner.  However, have you thought about your own thoughts? Don't allow negative thoughts about your spouse to swirl in your head to eventually take root in your heart. Squash them immediately by praying for your spouse and remembering the five things about your spouse that please you.

​​What about you?  Do you have any marriage advice you plan on sharing with your children?